What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback. That way, when I do criticize him, Im a mile away and I have his shoes. ]” [Jerry Seinfeld uses this technique. — ciprex 02 of 24 Well, Well, Well, Very Funny Via Getty Images/Arsenio Marrero. What is in a ghost’s nose? Boo-gers. What is the funniest one liner you know? : r/AskReddit. Report 227 points POST THIS IS HILARIOUS 22 View more comments #2 Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen. And, to use as few words as possible and still. - Milton Jones I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim. 45 Funny Christian Jokes Canva/Parade 1. Here are some funny one liners to make you laugh: 1. This one is so bad you just have to laugh at it. A one-liner joke is a joke delivered in a single line. Here are some funny one liners to make you laugh: 1. #1 Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions. The doctor says, Youve got a rare form of cancer. If youd like to enjoy some more medical humor, one liners and funny hospital jokes, be sure to check out our collection of medical puns. I finally found a book on how to solve half my problems. A one-liner, also known as a punchline in some cases, is a truly remarkable form of a joke. The best funny one-liners Shutterstock Going to church doesnt make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. ” — @BHGolfEquipment ————————- 40. #1 Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions. Always borrow money from a pessimist. 42 of the funniest lines you’ve heard on the golf course. The cops have nothing to go on. Hell be following me around like, Jack me off! Jack me off! You did it once! Do it yourself. Why did Friday work out? It was a weak day for him. 11 Extremely Funny One Liner Jokes “Do Transformers get car, or life insurance?” Russell Howard “I’m on a whiskey diet. I just got my doctors test results and Im really upset about it. 150 Funny One Liners to Get You Giggling All Day. Most of these cute one liners are from the iconic comedians and others are from random people. ” (Long pause) Golfer B: “Yeahhow ‘bout YOU take it?” — @JerryLouLooper ————————- 41. Why do you like Fridays that much? Friday is my second best F-word ever. Funniest Quotes From Letterkenny. 101 Good, Clean Jokes Thatll Make You Laugh. Somebody stole all the toilets from the police station. #1 Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions. 120 of the best ever jokes and one. Welcome to All Things Foolish™ Daily Comedy Broadcast series featuring Comedy Vignette #120 which is your number one source for funniest one liners ever hear. Aug 22, 2022. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. “Caddie told me it was a 5 iron to clear the water on a par 3, I. Oh, Im sorry, I didnt realize that youre an expert on my life and how I should live it. 145+ One-Liner Jokes As Punny As They Are Funny. I failed math so many times at school, I can’t even count. ” – Milton Jones “I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim. The 20 best lines from W1A “I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time. First of all, it is so short that by telling it, you’ll never miss the ‘magical moment’ and will always leave your. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a. Funny Puns to Get You Giggling All Day. Outrageously Funny Groucho Marx Quotes. How does the ocean say hello? It waves. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana – mafia. I never forget a face, but in your case Ill make an exception. Explanation: “No joke” has a double meaning here. So a few years go my friend got viral meningitis, a swelling of the meninges that can easily kill you. 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Funny Ghost and Goblin Jokes Cavan Images Why do ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo. Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember. But dont worry, it is at the bottom of the things I want to do. Explanation: “No joke” has a double meaning here. Did you hear they arrested the devil? Yeah, they got him on possession. Two peanuts walk into a bar, one was assaulted. I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. What is the best Friday of the year for the faithful? The Good Friday. What did one plate whisper to the other plate? Dinner is on me. “Some cause happiness wherever they go. The 20 best one-liners ever. Our list of the best one line jokes of all time are curated by the bunch of comedians that make. You could read it as “seriously” or as “a joke didn’t. Unfortunately, they’re often lumped in the same category as bad jokes. Thats when I knew we werent gonna work out. 3) Whats a comedians least favorite drink? [Booze] I threw a boomerang a few years ago. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, my love. Please continue while I take notes. See TOP 10 witty one-liners. Thorax: A Dr. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated. The Stupidest Thing I Ever Heard In My Life Is That A Baby Is Smart. Funny One Liner Jokes 1. They make us groan, say “Are you serious?”, and, of course, make us chuckle. Tumor: More than one, an extra pair. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? Do these genes make me look fat? 3. Spend $500, Get $200 Fast With This Top Card. 1) “Have you ever noticed [fill in with something you find interesting or funny. But in medieval times people were named Lance a lot. Youll be sure to brighten someones day when you unleash a hilarious joke when they least expect it. I asked the IT guy, “How do you make a Motherboard?” He said, “I tell her about my job. 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They are separated into three sub-layers called the dura mater, the arachnoid mater, and the pia mater. 105 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds “My phone will ring at 2am and my wife’ll look at me and go, “Who’s that calling at this time?” I say, “I don’t know. Music legends with some of the best old hound dogs they ever did know Puppy Love: The 25 Greatest Dogs in Pop Culture History Icons of classic films and TV, from Toto and Lassie to Uggie and a British beagle made entirely of clay. Pack your stuff, theyre waiting. Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. ” Tom Ward (2015) “I really wanted kids when I was in my early 20s but I could just. Mater is Latin for mother, since their primary function is to protect the central nervous system. Funny Jokes About Friday. The Stupidest Thing I Ever Heard In My Life Is That A Baby Is Smart. The most one-liner jokes youll ever hear in a full comedy special might just be from Geechy Guy. 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A man goes in to his doctors for an exam and the doctor says, Well, I have good news and bad news. 105 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds “My phone will ring at 2am and my wife’ll look at me and go, “Who’s that calling at this time?” I say, “I don’t know. But all mine ever says is goodbye. is the funniest one liner you know? : r/AskReddit>What is the funniest one liner you know? : r/AskReddit. She got her looks from her father. Funny comeback: This one cuts deep “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. Short jokes for kids What did the man say to his fingers? I’m counting on you. Change is inevitable—except from a vending machine. 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And Im like [laughing] No, you go ahead and jack off the dog, he follows me around too much as it is. 109 Funny Puns You Cant Help But Smile At — Best …. Funny one-liners 1. com/_ylt=AwrFNKTruFZk8mIogqtXNyoA;_ylu=Y29sbwNiZjEEcG9zAzIEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3Ny/RV=2/RE=1683433836/RO=10/RU=https%3a%2f%2fparade. com>4653 Funny One Liners. They’re also a great way to get a chuckle out of kids. Two peanuts went walking down the street. 11 Extremely Funny One Liner Jokes “Do Transformers get car, or life insurance?” Russell Howard “I’m on a whiskey diet. Funny one-liners 1. The 20 best one-liners ever. Report 158 points POST I just snorted my coffee. I failed math so many times at school, I cant even count. One liners are great. You could read it as “seriously” or as “a joke didn’t walk into the. funniest ever jokes and best one. There was no coffin at his funeral. Welcome to All Things Foolish™ Daily Comedy Broadcast series featuring Comedy Vignette #118 which is your number one source for funniest one liner, funniest. Here are some famous one liner jokes that can easily lift your spirits. I had a dream about being a muffler. Welcome to All Things Foolish™ Daily Comedy Broadcast series featuring Comedy Vignette #116 which is your number one source for funniest one liners ever hear. Friday is my 3rd best F-word after food and f…! Next: 69 Wine Jokes to Unwind Your Day. He was known for double meanings embedded in his one-liners, along with his ever-present cigar, prominent eyebrows, and glasses. What is the best Friday of the year for the faithful? The Good Friday. 150 Best Friday Jokes to Get You Laughing, TGIF!. With well over 100 responses submitted, we narrowed the list down to 42 of. The best funny one-liners Shutterstock Going to church doesnt make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. Why was the baby ant confused? Because all his uncles were ants. Punchy, concise, and clever, they often make use of play on words, double meaning, or double-entendre. And Im like [laughing] No, you go ahead and jack off the dog, he follows me around too much as it is. We found the funniest jokes around to tell all of your friends and family. 145+ One-Liner Jokes As Punny As They Are Funny. I was going to tell you a joke about boxing but I forgot the punch line. I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. ” 3) “What’s a comedian’s least favorite drink? [Booze]” I threw a boomerang a few years ago. You can pull these out of your back pocket when you’re in need of something funny on the fly along with the funniest one-liners, some “what do you call?” jokes, and even something to get. Turns out, Im not gonna be a doctor. 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The other day I bought a thesaurus, but when I got home and opened it, all the pages were blank… I have no words to describe how angry I am. A man is at the funeral of an old friend. He was so good, I don’t even care. Lance is an uncommon name nowadays. The best funny one-liners Shutterstock Going to church doesnt make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. “May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters. Now get ready to make some memories filled with laughter with these 70 hilariously funny jokes! What falls, but never needs a bandage? The rain. Dad comes to his son and tells him hes adopted. Youll have trouble putting on your pants. Some people think prison is one word, but to robbers, its the whole sentence. My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo A magician was going down a road and turned into a driveway How long is a Chinese name Last week a hypnotist convinced me that. Comebacks Youll Wish You Knew Before. They make us groan, say “Are you serious?”, and, of course, make us chuckle. ” – Milton Jones “I had a dream last night that I was. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says Plethora. Its never a good idea to keep both feet firmly on the ground. Rodney Dangerfield nailed it. The 20 best one-liners ever. 101 Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember. It is confirmed that taller people sleep longer. Groucho Marx and his brothers had an unmatched flair for comedy. Be that as it may, if you want to read a joke, it is not a novel you are looking for but rather a quick comedic relief. Here are some famous one liner jokes that can easily lift your spirits. I wanted to take a bath, but then decided to leave it where it is. Funny Groucho Marx Quotes. My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the zoo A magician was going down a road and turned into a driveway How long is a Chinese name Last week a hypnotist convinced me that. I never forget a face, but in your case Ill make an exception. I’d tell you a pizza joke, but it’s probably too cheesy. “A computer once beat me at chess. “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. Its incurable and you have three weeks to live. One liner tags: puns, sport 85. Whats the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?. I try not to tell dad jokes, but when I do, he thinks they’re. We found the funniest jokes around to tell all of your friends and family. 105 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds “My phone will ring at 2am and my wife’ll look at me and go, “Who’s that calling at this time?” I say, “I don’t know. What did the grape say when it got. One liner tags: blonde, death, sarcastic, time 85. A man goes in to his doctors for an exam and the doctor says, Well, I have good news and bad news. ” This one comes from Dorothy Parker who was the queen of good comebacks. 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Clean Jokes Thatll Make You Laugh. ] 2) I threw a boomerang a few years ago. It was chasing its tail trying to make both ends meet. Extremely Funny One Liners – Best One Liner Jokes in 2023. Funny one-liners take a sophisticated observation about life or language and reframe it as a slyly “dumb” joke whose full comic power hits only after your brain unpacks it. What guarantees to ruin your Friday? Learning that it. One liner tags: puns. Welcome to All Things Foolish™ Daily Comedy Broadcast series featuring Comedy Vignette #118 which is your number one source for funniest one liner, funniest. One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. 148 Dad Jokes That Are Actually Funny. Bad jokes can be short, corny, punny, and deliver some of the best one-liners ever. 50 One-Liners from Stand-Up Comedy Legends / Purple Clover Classic jokes that still stand up Classic jokes that still stand up Purple Clover Relationships Marriage Sex Dating Memoirs Family.